I dont know what to say. It looks like my useless blogging yesterday actually made people worried about me, and for that I'm forever sorry.
Last night was a rough night. I dont know what to say because I dont really want to embarrass anybody publicly (HA.. I act as if people actually read this thing), but the last two nights especially have been very hard for me to get through. There's something that I want, so very badly, and I can just never get to the point where I can rest easy because I have it, but I dont know what to do about that. Someone is preventing me from having what I want, and I dont know how to convince them otherwise.
Before I go any further, I want you all to go read this blog entry of mine. Please read it and take it to heart - because oftentimes when I'm in situations where I should be upset at someone else, I get upset at myself for letting myself be angry at them. Does that make any sense? I dont know what it is about me.. Anyway, that was my plea 3 and a half months ago, and it remains to be my plea today.
Jessica came over tonite and her and I had a fantastic evening together. We rented Sliding Doors, and Ferris Bueller's Day Off. We didn't get a chance to see Ferris Bueller's Day Off because it got to be too late. Which is HORRIBLE because it's a friggin' GREAT movie! Anywho, after our gossip session... ok, not gossip session, more like therapy session. Yea, Kyle needed some counseling tonite. Anyway, Sliding Doors was really sweet. It's a nice "feel good" kind of movie. Rent both of these - I give it two thumbs up. I just took her home now, and came home here to an empty house. Ok, it wasn't really empty, my sister is sleeping in her room... but it might as well be empty.
Nothing makes me feel better than being alone, but similarly nothing makes me feel worse. If I'm alone on my own accord, that's grand. If not, that bothers me. If I'm alone and I know other people are out having fun, it makes me so jealous. Like when Jess and James went camping a few weeks ago, I'm sorry to say Jess, but I was jealous as all hell! Anyway, last night was no exception. I was home, and stuck in my house.
This is a little dedication to "J".... I just found out tonite that she knows me through reading my blog... I must give her a reason to keep coming here, no? She is, after all, a valuable reader... If you do read this, please just let me know it. That's what that fancy doohicky on the left there is for! silly people visiting and not commenting....
These paragraphs dont flow at all, mainly because my purpose for this blog was taken care of in the first couple of paragraphs, and everything after that was just fill to make me look not-so-lazyish....
Until next time.......
*fade to black*
:: Eldorado ::
Sunday, August 10, 2003 ::
4:47:00 AM
