Saturday, May 15, 2004 :: 12:37:00 AM

Alright, no song tonite.. just because I wanna write this and get it over with..

All hype, no bite.
This is why Kill Bill Vol. 2 sucked.

I'm sick of people telling me it's the best thing since the Shawshank Redemption, or [enter an equally classic movie here]... it's NOT... the fight scenes were just that. There was nothing new to make me drool. The story could have been shaved down to an even 20 minutes - half hour tops... and, well, I just plain didn't like it..

Now, I saw the movie quite a while ago, but I'm sick of reading blogs, and reviews, and such of people who loved the film. Tell me why? I dont understand; please enlighten me. (that's an honest request).

Best part of the movie? David Carradine. He's the man. He's Kwai Chang Caine!!! that guy rocked, for REAL... but Kill Bill? come on.. I mean, some of his dialogue was cool... pure Carradine... but after that, you want to know something? the first movie was driven by senseless violence. The second? a little more plot driven, I'll give you that, but if I have to sit through another of what I call the "soap opera silence", I'm going to SCREAM! Ooooo.. one person looks at someone else, the camera quickly cuts to the second person... back to the first.. back to the second.... flashback... back to the first again... fight... now one is dead and lets look at the 'winner' just sitting there.. of course.. silently...

The first movie? Samurai with a touch of western. The second movie? Western with a touch of Samurai. GREAT ideas.. GREAT concepts.. but the next time Quentin Tarantino decides to make a movie of a consolidation of all of his favourite movies from one (or more than one) genre, he better think again because this one (to me) wasn't a winner. He's even been quoted in saying that he did this as his "money" trilogy... Hey Quent, a tip of advice... next time for a "money" trilogy, try to make a movie that doesn't get booed regularly in theaters.

Trilogy.. yes, I used the word trilogy. It turns out that our good ol' buddy Quent is thinking (at least rumoured and reported by ananova.com) on making a third movie.. please god, or should I say Quentie, no. Dont do this to us. If you do, please... well, just make it better.. that's all I ask...

Good thing that, if this story is true, he's not thinking about it for at least another 15 years.

I like to relate these movies to a couple having sex... bare with me here... I have a point.

They start out slow.. speed up, tear eachother's clothes off... get all hot and sweaty.. things are gettin really intense, and all of a sudden... as the headboard is thundering against the wall, and the light on the ceiling is rattling........

sorry, got carried away. lets try that again..

They start out slow.... they reach for the buttons of the other person's pants... and when they undo them and pull them down.... there's nothing there. like... NOTHING... you're like a cartoon character who doesn't wear pants... just.... nothing...

THAT is the image I was trying to get out.. *fans self*

There's a load of potential.... no doubt, but once you waste your hard earned money on a ticket, you're gonna find out that you have no dick....

or something like that..

Until next time.......
*fade to black*

:: Eldorado ::