Wednesday, March 30, 2005 :: 7:15:00 PM

Song of choice: It's Been A While - Staind (Thanks Anna!)

I read Anna's blog today and got that song and realized it fits... "It's been a while" seems to be a constant theme in my life...

Wow, lookey here... an update! Here goes..........

My life is weird right now. I have such great highs (now no longer drug induced, which is a good thing.. one thing that has 'been a while'..) and such low lows... I look at my life and I realize how full and wonderful it is, and yet there are some very essential things that pull me down.. Some are my fault, admittedly, but even discounting those... I dont get to see everyone as much as I would like. Here's an illustration.. I've been home for two months now, in the same city as Erin, and we haven't so much as even breathed a word to eachother. I know that's half my fault... But what is it that has happened in the last year to pull everyone that is so dear to me away? I dont see any of my highschool friends anymore... Hell, I can hardly send two or three messages to them on MSN on the rare occasions that I actually see them online before they tell me they have something more important to take care of, or another commitment.

What has happened to pull everyone apart?

Distance? Relationships? Employment?

< bitter>

It's funny... two summers ago, I was working 12 hour days, all day every day, and those who didn't have a schedule as busy as mine still wanted me to take them out and see them... So it cant be employment that is keeping us apart... And as far as relationships keeping us busy that we cant see eachother is a hilarious notion because sacrificing a friendship (or multiple friendships) for one single person is just plain silly to me... it has to be the distance - at least thats what i'm going to blame it on.. Fuck you, distance... Fuck you in your huge, self-proclaimed all knowing eye socket...

Enough of this...

< /bitter>

So here's the deal... I've spent the last two months looking for a job, and in the last three days I now have 4....

The Quiznos job you know about..

I found out that I could work in residence again at least until September.. This is probably a better opportunity than Quiznos - it's more money and more hours...

The third job is just temp. A friend of a friend owns a business in Mississauga that is moving. She needs people to help move their business, and I offered my services. It would only be a week and a half or so, but it's extra money...

And the fourth job is the one that I want the least, but pays the most. It's with my dad again. Now, it wouldn't be the accounting and payroll job that I had last summer, it would be field work. I'd be estimating. For example, if they're going to work on a parking lot, I'll go out and measure the lot and estimate how much material they would need to do their work.... fun stuff, not, but it pays 13 bones an hour... not too shabby..

So I'm thinking I'll take the moving job and my dad's job for the next couple of weeks... when the moving job is done with, I'll be able to start working at rez.... and maintain both jobs.. I think this will all work out..

And I have finally convinced my mom that buying a car isn't a BAD idea... so here's to hoping.....

I wanna write more, but class starts in 5 mins...

Until next time.......
*fade to black*

:: Eldorado ::