Sorry for all the Star Wars related posts lately, but here comes another...
During our starwars marathon a couple weeks ago, Justin informed me of a blog online kept by Darth Vader. This really is a clever site. It's not official by any means, but it might as well be. It's Vader's inner ramblings, and most personal thoughts that take place during the original trilogy. I've read about half of the entries so far and I haven't really come across any real spoilers - just mostly speculation and general comments... take a read if you like over at The Darth Side.
Here is a snippit of The Darth Side, to give you an idea of it's theme.. This takes place during Return of the Jedi, Episode 6, right near the start of the movie...
20050511 Blasted Contractors!
Work is a disaster. The blind leading the blind leading the Force-choked.
Cracking the whip. Setting a new tone of efficacy around the Death Star.
Due to the haste with which we are proceding through the latter phases of this battle-station's construction we have been forced to employ scores of civilian contractors from across the galaxy in addition to our own Imperial Corps of Engineers. This had led to a certain clash of working cultures.
For instance, this morning I critiqued a tragically sub-par piece of workmanship on a tractor-beam repulsolift inversion assembly by snapping the neck of the site supervisor and throwing his limp corpse down a disused elevator shaft.
Imperial engineers would have snapped to crisp attention, of course, but all these civilian contractors did was give me was grief. "Oy, you do that again and I'll have the union on you!" barked one red-faced buffoon.
"It is vital that you enhance the inter-departmental syngergies of your operation," I said. And then I killed him.
On a more positive note the world-smashing superlaser seems to be working admirably, much to the relief of the stress-incontinent Moff Jerjerrod (and the relief of his cleaning service). The lower ranks now giggle when he enters the room, whispering about yesterday's chat in the landing hangar in which Jerjerrod greeted the news of Emperor Palpatine's imminent inspection by losing control of his bowels. Though no one let on at the time, you knew they had to be smelling it. It was certain they not be able to hold off on the jokes for long, since Fett's penchant for toilet humour is famous and every cloned trooper is a reflection of that spirit.
After destroying one of Endor's lesser moons I treated the men to a round of Corellian wine. Admiral Piett signalled from Executor that the moon has been completely incinerated, reducing the likelihood of damage from the kind of outflying debris we saw when we toasted Alderaan. The safety control officer was tickled pink.
Tomorrow I have elected to take a tour of the facilities on the forest moon below. My office is packing a picnic.
This is getting me through my night shift (which ends in 40 or so minutes)... remember, like any blog, start from the bottom and work your way up!
Until next time...... *fade to black*
:: Eldorado ::
Sunday, June 05, 2005 ::
6:13:00 AM
